No More Exams

No photo today -- I'm back on my old computer with old photos that I need to sort through.

However, I have finished my exams. And I'm home. That's about all that really matters right now.


Wolverine.

Goofy and Great

It's not the best one I took today (the best has slightly better focus and quite a bit better composition) but it's the greatest. I mean, come on, isn't it adorably goofy? I know she's just cleaning, but frozen in time like that just makes me giggle. (Okay, lots of things right now make me grin and giggle.)

I did my Chemsistry exam today! Yeah! Feel like I went well, even with a few small things I didn't know, and that means that my most worrisome exam is done! (More exclamation abuse today.) I came into knowing Yr 9 level Chem while it expected Yr 12 level Chem, and I managed it. Maybe I won't ace it, but I've done damn well for trying to pick up 2.5 years in 4 months. I'm not going to be shy or modest about it -- I worked hard and it paid off, and I'm very very happy about it.

And I took some funny goose photos. What could be a better day?

I did get studying done for my final exam tomorrow, Maths. Although it was a bit tough I got it done and scored well, so I feel confident (must look up the spelling of that...). I'm ready. I'm pumped. And once it's done, I"M GOING HOME!

Tuesday the 19th of June 2007 is a GREAT day. Monday the 18th of June 2007 was a PRETTY DAMN GOOD day too.

(Now the little gremlins will come in the night to steal my caps-key and exclamation-key.)


Wolverine.

Big Smiles

Six little birds, all in a row. Lookie at them. They wouldn't let me get much closer; they all flew off about 30 seconds after this photo.

Had a great day today. Finished TWO past Chemistry exams, which makes me feel a lot more confident about the exam. I feel ready for it, which is good, because it's tomorrow! (I'm Miss Exclamation! tonight.)

Not only did I get academic stuff done, but I spent a couple hours 'networking', ie, making friends, which is the first time I've really managed to come out of my shell around here. Felt great. Took up the majority-rest of the evening, but it was worth it. And then I came across the 'Free Hugs Campaign'. What a great way for things to fall together. I need a 'Free Hugs' t-shirt, or jacket, or something. Then I could 'Free Hug' even when I'm doing other things.

Academic, social and personal stuff, all in one day. And I got rained on. Well, can't ask for everything.

Wolverine.

Not Very Interesting -- More Study

A recent photo, although not today's. I only took four today, and they weren't worth putting up.

Haven't had a brilliant day, during a time when I cannot really afford to have off days. Struggled to get any work done, mainly due to focus and motivation and frustration. I only have one and half days until my exams are completely over. Eek. That means that tomorrow I have to study, and then Monday after my Chem exam I have to study for my Maths exam. And then by Tuesday afternoon I'll be free!

Huge mug of chamomile, early night and a fresh start tomorrow. Bright perspective. Might go out for an early morning walk and freeze or something similar.

Wolverine.

Blink. Tired.

One of my best photos, about a year old, I'd say. Taken in the dark, on manual focus and (obviously) manual pointing, when the screen was pitch black. And somehow, this one turned out great. I still love it. She's saying, "Leave me alone while I eat my apple!"

Today was basically full on from 10am until 10pm. Past exam then help desk then walking then dinner out for a friend's birthday. Gasp, pant. I haven't hardly stopped being cranially active since I started this morning.

So, no long post. My brain has officially turned off early tonight. My eyes are dry and I kept yawning on the phone to my parents. I think sleep is in order.

Although, I'm happy with the work I got done today, and the evening was fun (and free food too!). So it was worth it.


Wolverine.

Exam 2 -- Tick!

Very old photo (at least 2 years old now, eek). I still like it, even after ages. Estoric but done completely using non-digital techniques. I call it 'Angel'.

When someone asks you a questions, you normally either give a quick answer -- Do you like coffee? No -- or you stop and think -- What do you think about ... ? Most answers come into the quick category, but with a little imput from the thinking category.

I completed my second exam today. When my parents or my friend that I saw today asked how I went, I replied, "Not brilliantly, but not too bad." So, fairly neutral. Composed. When an almost-stranger in my residence passed me on the way back from the kitchen and asked the same question, I grinned and said "Good!" So, a good response this time.

The composed answers came through the filter of my thinking mode. I didn't want to appear just emotional, without reason. I did have reasons to think the whole exam didn't go great; I didn't get all of it right, for a start. But the natural, impulsive response tends to be the one that I truely believe inside. I think it's probably the same for all of us. So, despite my acknowledgement of the unobtainable answers, I feel the exam went well overall.

Now that's a nice place to be after an exam.


Wolverine.

'Two's and 'Twoo's

Today is the day for two's. It is the first day of my second week here. (2 weeks.) It is the day before my second exam. (2 exams.) When that exam is done (which I have already completed studying for) I will have 2 exams left. And 2 ducks. Well, of course.

I remember the very high's and low's of me a few years ago. Whether it was depression or just severe teenage hormones, I don't really care anymore. I'm just glad when, like today, I have a fairly bad up-and-down day in terms of emotions, that I'm not in that place anymore. Nothing can compare to manic highs and depressive lows. So, even on bad days, when I'm struggling - going fine - struggling - breezing by, I can see how much better life is now.

Which opens the door to how much better life could be. When I was in the depths of my depressive stage, I couldn't see anything better. Well, I could, but I couldn't see it happening to me. Isn't that what many people see in their lives? Sure, some people are super happy, but it's not for me. I'm fine just where I am.

Until you've climbed out of pits, you don't know what a blessing ground level can be, but you also can see the possibility that this 'ground level' is just the leg-up for a higher and better stage.

Got my exam tomorrow. I've struggled to get projects in on time, to understand many complex functions, to find the motivation to work. I want a good mark right now, I have reasons and the ambition for it, and I can do it. Beat that, nyeah.

Someone proabably can. But right now, that's good enough for me. I'll explore the next level up soon.

Think positive. It works.


Wolverine.

Preening

Silly little duckie. I think he looks cute, preening himself and generating a nice ripple effect at the same time.

This isn't going to be a long post. I have the start of a headache from being on the computer and listening to music (even quietly) for too long, so I know I have to get off quick smart before I aggravate it.

I enojyed today though, mostly. I did my first uni exam and went well in it! Yay for me! It was Physics, one of the subjects I've struggled with this semester, so I'm overjoyed that I was able to get through it fairly well, put an answer to everything and feel that I understood (or at least memorised) most of the important points. So now it's done, and on to the next subject.

I've spent most of my past few days, when I haven't been studying, on a site I've found recently. It's a personal development site, and some of things he says are pretty thought-provoking. Especially the stuff about following your dreams and doing the things you love and getting out of life exactly what you want, not what other people say you should want.

I'll get through my exams and then spend my break pondering all of that and what it means to me. Why am I here, right now, in this place? Why did I feel like I was led to be here? Where is it going (dangerous ground now)? What can I do to make my life better? What are my weaknesses and how can I improve them?

That's a heap of things, and I can't do everything at once. I know that. You know that. Everyone knows that you can't work-play-run-sleep all at the same time (well, maybe occassionally...). So I'll keep my commitments to one at a time for now, while I slowly figure out what commitments I want. And how to be happy NOW. Not later. Not soon. Now.

Smiling is a great start. Smile as often as you can. I think right now, I'll smile, have a chamomile and then sleep. A good start for a new day tomorrow.

Wolverine.

Little Things

It may not be the greatest photo in the world, but it's the best I could get of this tricksy little bird. I ran across a description while looking up the species -- Musk Lorikeet -- that said they "fly bullet-like from tree to tree looking for food", which is exactly right. This one darted about, hopping from branch to branch, hiding in amongst the leaves, bolting higher in the tree whenever it felt like it. Geez. Some people (birds) are so difficult sometimes.

I took my photo-taking break earlier today, when I really needed to get out of my room. I was desperately restless, tired and lonely. But somehow, watching the birds (and chasing after them with a camera) always seems to make me feel better. Maybe it's just the complete different-ness of that challenge to that of uni and studying. The latter's very left-brain, organised, precise, but taking photos and jumping from vantage point to new vantage point isn't just about composition and focus. It's about the way things fit together and that's not a left-brain thing, that's a right-brain thing. You can't analyse a photo while you're taking it, especially when it's fast action. You just have to take the best shots you can.

So there I was, balancing on a narrow fence near a steep slope, wobbling and tensing-untensing-tensing my muscles trying to stay still, listening to the leaves rustling and the birdcalls when I couldn't see the darn little thing (those red patches vanish astonishly quickly, leaving just the green, which happens to be the perfect green of eucalyptus leaves) and just enjoying myself. I love taking photos of birds. It's just the challenge I need, and it was just the one I needed today.

I had another down spiral later today, in the evening. Homesick, restless again, lonely. I had to get out and go for a walk in the semi-dark (lots of lights, the sun had set though, long before). I wandered down to the little jetty on the lake nearby and just stood there, watching the lamplights wink at me from their reflections on the shifting water. I eventually noticed the ducks that were still paddling around, almost silent except for the splash that caught my attention and a few after that. So quiet and peaceful. It did calm me down, as I'd hoped.

So right now I'm just finishing off my second apple. Apples calm me down too. I cut them up into thick slices (quarters, generally), core them and drop them into a bowl of cold water. I know I'm hopeless with being distracted and completely forgetting to eat, so the water keeps them nice and fresh, as well as cool and crisp. I like sweetness, so I like red ones, but so far I've only found Fuji that are crisp enough for my liking.

So, my day has been full of calming, enjoyable things. Lorikeets, photos, ducks, apples, walks in the dark. Plenty.

I did get some studying done. I finished my last past/practise exam for Physics, and got a decent enough score. I'm happy with that, going into the exam tomorrow. I feel confidant.

And now, I think I'll have a chamomile soon, and then get to bed. I'm not sleepy right now, but I will be soon, and I want a good sleep before tomorrow's exam. I'm not too worried. I know where to go and everything.


Wolverine.

Do It Now

It's not the best photo, but it is the best for symbolising me right now.

I found this site this evening after spending most of the day struggling to work, and it's brilliant. (The title of this post is the title of one of his articles.) I am going to follow his 'teachings' for the next two weeks and then use them to create my own versions.

My goal: to pass the exams with a 75% rate overall. 70% for Physics and Chemistry, 80% for Maths and Structure.

My future goal will be to understand the subjects and explore them, but I cannot do that without first getting past this hurdle and then learning the stuff I don't understand when I have the time.

Steve promotes time management, focusing on one thing intensely and having the enthusiasm to get it done because it matters to you. That is what the next two weeks are going to be. Not grunt grunt grunt, but focus, fast learning and memorising the mundane things that need memorising. I can do that. I will do that.

Wolverine.

Intricacy

I took quite a few pictures today, but only a few turned out nicely, as usual. Of those better ones, each one had quite a different feel to it. Although they were all good and I wanted to display them all, I decided on this one because it reflects my life at the moment. Details everywhere. Busy, yet all linked. See, there's me in the middle!

The others, to me, represented tranquility, solemnity and annoyance. Ducks in the dusk light and a poor bird who didn't like me taking his photo. I loved tranquility and solemnity (is that even a real word?), but it didn't feel quite right for this post, the beginning of my exam studying.

I came up with a detailed plan for the next week and a half/two weeks. It's there, ready and waiting. All I have to do is follow it and I should get through my exams. Hopefully. Trust.

I will study and work through my exams, not with ease, but with confidance.

It is early, but I have already had my chamomile and tomorrow is an early start. So, I believe an early bedtime is in order. Sleep well, friends.

Wolverine.

The Desert Ahead

Two weeks doesn't seem like that long, does it? It's one fortnight, two segments of seven days. For most people, that's two segments of five days working and two segments of two days working on other stuff ;P Eight hours a day, then turn the brains off in the evening, cook, eat, watch TV and sleep.

In the next two weeks, I have work seven days a week, about 12+ hours a day. Not because I'm a masochist, but because I'm a student.

Oh yes. Exams.

Exams mean study. Study means a lot of work, and no set hours. There's always more to be done.

To be honest, I've made it harder for myself by trying ot make it easier. I'm staying at my uni residence for the entire two weeks, and although two weeks spent living on your own is nothing to most single people, it's a long time for me. I have to cook in a crap kitchen. I have to do my washing in strange machines. I don't get any hugs for two long weeks.

Especially the hugs.

Tired right now, and starting to get worried. My first exam is on this coming Monday; that's four days in which to study. I haven't hardly studied at all yet. Yes, I am a procrastinator. How did you guess?


Wolverine.

Month Crossover

I have discovered that it is adding photos at any point not at the very beginning of a post that causes my problems with formatting. If I add one, all the single enters up to the point I'd typed before adding become double enters, and any enters afterwards (as in space-line-enters, not regular line-enters) are not recognised and all my lines get mashed up close together.

Now, they probably like it. However, I don't. I like my words to be spaced out. So I must remember; add photos first if I want to include them.

Didn't get a whole heap done today. 1 lecture and 2 online quizzes took up all of my day (plus a nap and reading some blogs and FM). No chamomile tonight. It's late enough to be bedtime already. I swear, where do the late hours go?


Wolverine.