Today is the day for two's. It is the first day of my second week here. (2 weeks.) It is the day before my second exam. (2 exams.) When that exam is done (which I have already completed studying for) I will have 2 exams left. And 2 ducks. Well, of course.
I remember the very high's and low's of me a few years ago. Whether it was depression or just severe teenage hormones, I don't really care anymore. I'm just glad when, like today, I have a fairly bad up-and-down day in terms of emotions, that I'm not in that place anymore. Nothing can compare to manic highs and depressive lows. So, even on bad days, when I'm struggling - going fine - struggling - breezing by, I can see how much better life is now.
Which opens the door to how much better life could be. When I was in the depths of my depressive stage, I couldn't see anything better. Well, I could, but I couldn't see it happening to me. Isn't that what many people see in their lives? Sure, some people are super happy, but it's not for me. I'm fine just where I am.
Until you've climbed out of pits, you don't know what a blessing ground level can be, but you also can see the possibility that this 'ground level' is just the leg-up for a higher and better stage.
Got my exam tomorrow. I've struggled to get projects in on time, to understand many complex functions, to find the motivation to work. I want a good mark right now, I have reasons and the ambition for it, and I can do it. Beat that, nyeah.
Someone proabably can. But right now, that's good enough for me. I'll explore the next level up soon.
Think positive. It works.
Wolverine.
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